Empathy

As a football coach, having the ability to be empathetic is vital. But what exactly is empathy and how can you use it with your team? Here, we explore the skill and the importance of using it.

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Empathy is the ability to understand and share someone’s feelings and emotions. It’s being able to step into someone else’s shoes. To see the world through their eyes.

You don’t need to have had the same experience as the other person. You just need to have an open mind and contemplate what they’re going through. Then react accordingly. So, anyone can be empathetic.

This isn’t the same as being sympathetic, though. That’s more about acknowledging how they’re feeling – rather than understanding, sharing and acting on it.

Being empathetic allows you to be a person-first coach. Someone who sees, and understands, the individual and not just the player. And that can have a huge impact. Empathy allows you to build better relationships and adapt to individual needs. Plus, it’s a handy skill to have when managing any conflict. Being able to listen carefully, gain an understanding and negotiate a resolution will calm things down. And players will respect you more for this. Plus, it’s a much better approach than just telling them to pack it in and get on with it.

Overall, being empathetic means you’ve got a better chance of creating the right environment for your team. One that inspires players to return and develop a love for the game.

And, ultimately, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Without empathy, all that becomes much more difficult.

Empathy doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, you’ve probably used this skill before – without even realising. Perhaps a friend was going through a difficult time, and you were there for them. You listened, put yourself in their shoes and offered support. That’s empathy in action.

As a coach, it’s no different. Whether it’s adapting a session to make it more fun or keeping a disappointed substitute engaged on a matchday. Empathy is all about understanding individuals and trying to cater for them. You’re just doing it with a bigger group of people.

Check out the video below to see what empathy looks like in football.

Here are a few tips to maximise your ability to empathise.

1. Get to know your players

Remember that everyone is an individual. We all have different motivations and needs. It’s important to learn about, and understand, the varied life experiences and challenges faced by your players.

Training is the perfect place to start. When your team arrive, have a quick catch-up. Ask about their day, how they are and what they’re looking forward to this week. This can give you a glimpse into their world and what motivates them.

Player passports are great, too. Players can fill out a document with important information, like if they have any pets, hobbies or interests. This helps you get to know your team. Remembering these details and bringing them up in a conversation can make players feel valued. It also shows you care. If you work with the younger age groups, try getting their parents or carers to help them with the passport.

Developing good relationships is an essential part of coaching – and empathy. It means you’re more likely to recognise when a player is having a hard time. You’ll then be better placed to respond in a way that suits them.

2. Create an understanding with parents and carers

Connecting with parents and carers can help boost your empathy. After all, who knows your team better than them?

This tip is particularly useful if a player struggles to open up. Parents and carers can explain how their child is, what’s going on in their lives and any challenges they face. For example, perhaps a player is stressed out by exams and it’s affecting their mood. Without this information, you might carry on as normal. But, with this knowledge, you can shake things up. Start with a game or a fun activity – and interact with the player more. It could have a big impact on their enjoyment.

3. Be aware of the age and stage of your team

Think about the challenges your team face as they move through different life stages. Then adjust your coaching methods accordingly. Working with young players? They may be dealing with trying to make friends, transitioning to a new school and growth spurts. Be mindful that teenagers will go through puberty. And, as your team get older, they may begin to juggle football with jobs and family life.

Whatever their age and stage, focus on the intent behind your players’ actions and offer encouragement. Especially during periods of struggle or developmental change. This fosters a positive and supportive environment with empathy at its heart.

And try to discover why they play. It could be purely for social reasons, to keep fit or even just to try it out for the first time. Finding this out helps you understand your players – and what they need from you.

4. Consider your communication

To be an empathetic coach, you need to focus on your approach to communication. It’s important to:

• listen to understand, rather than listening to respond – e.g. some people know what they are going to say before the other person has finished speaking
• have open lines of communication with the whole team – not just a few players
• ensure that your actions, communication, and approach are consistent, so players know what to expect
• be genuine; empathy should naturally develop from real interest in players’ well-being
• know how and when players like to talk. Some may be fine with a quick chat on arrival or while playing, others may prefer a quiet space.

Developing your ability to empathise will allow you to understand and connect with players on a deeper level. But don’t stress about this happening overnight. It takes time to get to know your team – and their parents or carers. But being empathetic will help that process.

Ready to get started? Download our handy guide to take the key information away with you. You can use this to reflect on your coaching practices and experiences. Think about how players responded to you when you talked to them. What did they say? How did they react? Is there anything you can follow up on the next time you see them?

Don’t be afraid to seek the advice of others, either. Getting feedback from players, their loved ones or fellow coaches shows that you want to learn and grow. It’ll help you gain insights and improve your empathetic approach.